13 June 2006

Mairi's fine, it's Mom who's a mess

"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it."

Today I left Mairi (my little girl, my first baby) at ECDC for the first time, for summer camp — or, as she says, for "school."

How did she get big enough for this? She was obviously slightly anxious about the whole thing, but she was more curious about the new toys and the new kids. I, on the other hand, stood at the window, watching her for several minutes before I was finally able to tear myself away. I'll probably call in a little while, to see how she's doing (her teacher said I could — I'm obviously not the first anxious parent *grin*).

Somehow I though that the fact that I'm not the one at home with her would make this easier for me — and maybe it has, who's to say. But it hasn't made it easy. I've been repeating to myself the litany of things I've been telling Chris for weeks — that Mairi needs the stimulation and socialization, that she's ready, that it will be good for Nora to have Chris's undivided attention a couple mornings a week, and that it will be good for Chris to have just one child to care for on those days...

It's all still true, but I still feel ... What? Not really sad, not really anxious — I'm quite comfortable with ECDC as a child care place. I guess wistful is the best word. My babies are growing up.

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