Interested in one transplanted Yooper's life, family, ideas, and Brownian motion mental ramblings? You've come to the right place...
Showing posts with label Mairi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mairi. Show all posts
28 May 2013
14 May 2012
Apples to Apples (sort of)
Mairi at about seven months...
Nora at about seven months...
Dorothy at about seven months...
Jack at about seven months...
All four kids at about seven months...
08 April 2012
08 March 2012
International Women's Day, or how to I raise my girls to be strong women?
There's something I've been thinking about a lot of late. Every Saturday morning, in fact, as I watch my eldest play basketball in her school's intramural program. International Women's Day seems as good a day as any to muse aloud about it.
I was an extremely sedentary child. I did not enjoy P.E. because I was not good at most of it. I rarely play team sports, and when I did I tended to favor positions that were more about standing my ground than about running after something or someone. I was quite good at digging in as defense, actually. I can remember shocking opponents, usually boys, in soccer when I would take a soccer ball to the chest or head, without flinching, and deflect it off to a teammate. They tended to assume simply kicking it at me, hard, would cause me to duck. Not so much.
I was lucky in my metabolism, and my general body build, and therefore stayed slim despite my essential lack of activity. It also helped that I ate well, thanks to my mom — we ate food, not too much, and a good amount of it was plants. I walked to school throughout elementary school, would occasionally walk some longer distance or ride my bike some, or play in the park across the road from my house. I was far more often curled up with a book, inside or outside. It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that my low activity level started to have the normal impact on my weight.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I ponder how to best help my girls to be healthy in both mind and body. Actually, I think we're doing a pretty good job with raising them to be strong-minded (funny how some folks see that as an insult when applied to women...), to be confident in themselves and in their ability to think well and make good decisions. I especially worry about my eldest. You see, she's just like me in her lack of interest in being physically active but with a different body build. She's always been my little Amazon, taller than average and solidly built. She's just no more interested in running and being active than I was — tho she is just as good at being stubborn.
We eat pretty well these days, much better than a decade or so ago. When you have four kids, three of whom are too old to eat off mom or dad's plate, eating out gets to be a real luxury. That's not a bad thing, as it's way easier to eat healthy when eating at home. The kids tend to resist the plant foods, some more than others. The eldest resists the most, but then she also experienced the most eating out as a young child, and therefore was the least acclimated to fruits and veggies before she knew any different. We're learning not to nag about what she eats, restricting ourselves to correcting table manners only, and she's showing signs of learning to eat a more balanced diet.
So, how do I help her learn to be active? How do I help her want to be more active? Want it in a way that it causes her go out and get it? I don't know where to start even, I never knew where to start for myself either. I'm willing to work with her — it would be good for me, I know. I just don't even know where or how to begin…
I didn't discover a physical activity I liked until my mid-30s, when I decided to try to ease my way into being more active via a yoga class. It really was love-at-first-sight. I feel indescribably better when I am regularly attending my weekly yoga class. I dream of having enough time to do yoga daily, or at least three or four times a week. After yoga, I found Pilates. Another form of exercise that I instantly enjoyed, despite how hard it was for me at first, how truly and awfully bad I was at it. I loved feeling my body become stronger, better able to support me in all the rest of my life. I really got why being physically fit is better for the first time in my life, not as a theoretical idea that I agreed with but as something I felt. I was just starting to think about finding a cardio exercise I would enjoy when I got pregnant with Jack and all that went out the window. (Side note: each time I've started to get into a good routine with exercise, I've found myself pregnant. Odd coincidence, that...)
I really feel like in the same way that not everyone can sing, or play the drums well, or play this instrument or that one, but most people are good at some kind of musicality, individuals are going to find some types of physical exercise more appealing than others. So far I've been trying to help Mairi try different sports, different activities, and thereby give her the chance to find what she likes. It's not soccer. It's not ballet. Swimming is something she quite likes; I failed to get the girls into the first swim session for this semester, but plan to do better with the next sign up. Basketball she likes, except ... Well, she hasn't developed a whole lot of stamina, so she has trouble running and keeping up with the other girls, and that makes the whole thing a lot less attractive to her. It's this vicious cycle, where she's not able to run long so nothing is appealing so she doesn't get much exercise so she can't run long ... Anyone with any ideas how to help a child break that cycle, I'd love to hear 'em!
In the end, I know it will be her decision to make as far as how active she will be. We're raising all our kids with that firmly in mind — in the end it will be up to each of them to decide how they want live their lives. I'm just tring to stack the deck in favor of them making good decisions. :)
I was an extremely sedentary child. I did not enjoy P.E. because I was not good at most of it. I rarely play team sports, and when I did I tended to favor positions that were more about standing my ground than about running after something or someone. I was quite good at digging in as defense, actually. I can remember shocking opponents, usually boys, in soccer when I would take a soccer ball to the chest or head, without flinching, and deflect it off to a teammate. They tended to assume simply kicking it at me, hard, would cause me to duck. Not so much.
I was lucky in my metabolism, and my general body build, and therefore stayed slim despite my essential lack of activity. It also helped that I ate well, thanks to my mom — we ate food, not too much, and a good amount of it was plants. I walked to school throughout elementary school, would occasionally walk some longer distance or ride my bike some, or play in the park across the road from my house. I was far more often curled up with a book, inside or outside. It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that my low activity level started to have the normal impact on my weight.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I ponder how to best help my girls to be healthy in both mind and body. Actually, I think we're doing a pretty good job with raising them to be strong-minded (funny how some folks see that as an insult when applied to women...), to be confident in themselves and in their ability to think well and make good decisions. I especially worry about my eldest. You see, she's just like me in her lack of interest in being physically active but with a different body build. She's always been my little Amazon, taller than average and solidly built. She's just no more interested in running and being active than I was — tho she is just as good at being stubborn.
We eat pretty well these days, much better than a decade or so ago. When you have four kids, three of whom are too old to eat off mom or dad's plate, eating out gets to be a real luxury. That's not a bad thing, as it's way easier to eat healthy when eating at home. The kids tend to resist the plant foods, some more than others. The eldest resists the most, but then she also experienced the most eating out as a young child, and therefore was the least acclimated to fruits and veggies before she knew any different. We're learning not to nag about what she eats, restricting ourselves to correcting table manners only, and she's showing signs of learning to eat a more balanced diet.
So, how do I help her learn to be active? How do I help her want to be more active? Want it in a way that it causes her go out and get it? I don't know where to start even, I never knew where to start for myself either. I'm willing to work with her — it would be good for me, I know. I just don't even know where or how to begin…
I didn't discover a physical activity I liked until my mid-30s, when I decided to try to ease my way into being more active via a yoga class. It really was love-at-first-sight. I feel indescribably better when I am regularly attending my weekly yoga class. I dream of having enough time to do yoga daily, or at least three or four times a week. After yoga, I found Pilates. Another form of exercise that I instantly enjoyed, despite how hard it was for me at first, how truly and awfully bad I was at it. I loved feeling my body become stronger, better able to support me in all the rest of my life. I really got why being physically fit is better for the first time in my life, not as a theoretical idea that I agreed with but as something I felt. I was just starting to think about finding a cardio exercise I would enjoy when I got pregnant with Jack and all that went out the window. (Side note: each time I've started to get into a good routine with exercise, I've found myself pregnant. Odd coincidence, that...)
I really feel like in the same way that not everyone can sing, or play the drums well, or play this instrument or that one, but most people are good at some kind of musicality, individuals are going to find some types of physical exercise more appealing than others. So far I've been trying to help Mairi try different sports, different activities, and thereby give her the chance to find what she likes. It's not soccer. It's not ballet. Swimming is something she quite likes; I failed to get the girls into the first swim session for this semester, but plan to do better with the next sign up. Basketball she likes, except ... Well, she hasn't developed a whole lot of stamina, so she has trouble running and keeping up with the other girls, and that makes the whole thing a lot less attractive to her. It's this vicious cycle, where she's not able to run long so nothing is appealing so she doesn't get much exercise so she can't run long ... Anyone with any ideas how to help a child break that cycle, I'd love to hear 'em!
In the end, I know it will be her decision to make as far as how active she will be. We're raising all our kids with that firmly in mind — in the end it will be up to each of them to decide how they want live their lives. I'm just tring to stack the deck in favor of them making good decisions. :)
23 November 2011
Six weeks and counting
It's difficult to believe that Jack is already over six weeks old. When I was little, one of my grandmothers used to tell me, "The older you get, the faster time goes." I believed her, but I didn't really get it. Now I get it.
I'm doing pretty well. I feel sad at times, about certain things, but I don't feel sad as a general state of mind. It's an important distinction, I think. The latter, or any generally present negative mood (anger and apathy were the big clues after Dorothy's birth), would be a sign I was experiencing PPD again. I feel ... balanced, even-tempered, generally happy and grateful, with appropriate ups and downs from there. Chris and the midwife I saw for my six week check-up both agree that I seem to be doing fine right now. We all also agreed that when I start back to work (halftime on Monday ~sigh!~) that will be a time to watch carefully for how I adjust, how I cope.
It's been a lovely six, almost seven weeks. Jack smiles often and likes to play the "tongue game" -- if he sees someone stick their tongue out at him, he'll mirror the action. He loves contrast, especially the ceiling fans and a drawing Mairi made for him that hangs next to the changing table. He's stayed as mellow as he seemed at first, so far.
The big girls are doing well. They love on Jack as much as they're allowed, asking to hold him regularly.
Mairi is thriving on the greater personal responsibility that 3rd grade has brought, and has made friends with a classmate who lives in our neighborhood.
Nora is reading better all the time -- huzzah! She has trouble when she's overtired or hungry or stressed (don't we all!), but Chris is helping her learn some coping skills for the stress and we try to avoid the other two as much as we can.
Dorothy is doing well, too. She has two particular friends at her preschool, and so has "Molly days" and "Blaise days". She's learning letters and numbers and generally doing all she can to keep up with her big sisters.
It's funny, I was remembering some Christmas events and thinking with amazement that a year ago Dorothy was my baby. She was two, in diapers, still nursing, still a toddler in so many ways. And Jack wasn't even a twinkle in our eyes. I have SO much to be thankful for! :-)
[ETA: The second and third picture were taken by Grandma Janet during our lovely Thanksgiving Day at the camp, Paul Bunyan's Landing.]
I'm doing pretty well. I feel sad at times, about certain things, but I don't feel sad as a general state of mind. It's an important distinction, I think. The latter, or any generally present negative mood (anger and apathy were the big clues after Dorothy's birth), would be a sign I was experiencing PPD again. I feel ... balanced, even-tempered, generally happy and grateful, with appropriate ups and downs from there. Chris and the midwife I saw for my six week check-up both agree that I seem to be doing fine right now. We all also agreed that when I start back to work (halftime on Monday ~sigh!~) that will be a time to watch carefully for how I adjust, how I cope.
It's been a lovely six, almost seven weeks. Jack smiles often and likes to play the "tongue game" -- if he sees someone stick their tongue out at him, he'll mirror the action. He loves contrast, especially the ceiling fans and a drawing Mairi made for him that hangs next to the changing table. He's stayed as mellow as he seemed at first, so far.
The big girls are doing well. They love on Jack as much as they're allowed, asking to hold him regularly.
Mairi is thriving on the greater personal responsibility that 3rd grade has brought, and has made friends with a classmate who lives in our neighborhood.
Nora is reading better all the time -- huzzah! She has trouble when she's overtired or hungry or stressed (don't we all!), but Chris is helping her learn some coping skills for the stress and we try to avoid the other two as much as we can.
Dorothy is doing well, too. She has two particular friends at her preschool, and so has "Molly days" and "Blaise days". She's learning letters and numbers and generally doing all she can to keep up with her big sisters.
It's funny, I was remembering some Christmas events and thinking with amazement that a year ago Dorothy was my baby. She was two, in diapers, still nursing, still a toddler in so many ways. And Jack wasn't even a twinkle in our eyes. I have SO much to be thankful for! :-)
[ETA: The second and third picture were taken by Grandma Janet during our lovely Thanksgiving Day at the camp, Paul Bunyan's Landing.]
12 November 2011
Baby blues
I am grateful for the fact that I have four healthy children.
I am grateful for the fact that I was able to get pregnant in the first place.
I am grateful for the fact that I have come through my pregnancies with as little long-term health troubles as I've had.
I just want to state these things up front.
After Mairi was born, I had the "baby blues" for a short while. I missed being pregnant. This makes more sense if you remember that I had pretty much normal nausea at the beginning of her pregnancy, and little-to-no middle and late pregnancy complaints. I also did not immediately find Mairi all that interesting—tho I certainly loved her from the very beginning.
I don't remember having much trouble with my mental state after Nora was born. Then again, between having her in the pediatrics wing at four weeks and me breaking my elbow when she was three-months-old, I might have simply been too busy to notice!
After Dorothy was born, I got downright depressed and was treated for post-partum depression for over a year. There was a good chance she would be my last baby, and I was simply not ready for that to be the case. Plus, I had other things in my life that were majorly stressing me out. I needed the medications I was on to get back to a more even footing.
When I found out I was expecting Jack, I knew he would be my last baby. Much as I love babies, I've never wanted to continue having them into my 40s. I made the decision early on to do all I could to be mentally in a good place by the end of the pregnancy.
Mind you, I'm not suggesting depression can be overcome entirely by a person's attitude. Sometimes attitude or intent have absolutely no impact. In my own experience, however, I've found that some things I do may help. If I stay healthy—eat right, get as close to enough sleep as I can, exercise—and if I face what's bothering me, I have a better chance of staying mentally healthy.
So, three-and-a-half weeks out, how am I doing? Mostly pretty well. I have my good days and my bad days, but more are good than are bad. If I'm overtired or dehydrated I'm more likely to have a bad day. Still, I have days I don't get teary at all, and when I do get teary it doesn't overwhelm me. I feel like I'm doing okay, especially given where I am in the hormonal shift back to not-pregnant.
So, what's still giving me trouble? How fast time is slipping by. Jack is already three-and-a-half weeks old. His looks are changing. He has baby acne. He's learning to smile. These are all good things, but somehow each time there's a notable development I feel both excited and sad—I'm always aware that I'll never go through this again with a child of my own.
I know being done is the right thing. It's right for me—given how I have been exponentially sicker with each pregnancy, I shudder to think how bad I might get in another. I have neither nostalgia for nor amnesia about being pregnant. And as I said, I've never really wanted to have kids in my 40s.
It's right for Chris—he was ready to stop after any of the previous kids, but is especially ready to be done now.
It's right for our kids, for our family—I know love multiplies, but I also know time doesn't. I like that with four kids, each child still has a parent's hand to hold. Our family feels right, feels complete to me now.
Still, there are days that I feel sad. As long as they stay relatively few, I won't worry. I'm too busy counting my blessings, even if I do sometimes shed a tear or two while doing so.
I am grateful for the fact that I was able to get pregnant in the first place.
I am grateful for the fact that I have come through my pregnancies with as little long-term health troubles as I've had.
I just want to state these things up front.
After Mairi was born, I had the "baby blues" for a short while. I missed being pregnant. This makes more sense if you remember that I had pretty much normal nausea at the beginning of her pregnancy, and little-to-no middle and late pregnancy complaints. I also did not immediately find Mairi all that interesting—tho I certainly loved her from the very beginning.
I don't remember having much trouble with my mental state after Nora was born. Then again, between having her in the pediatrics wing at four weeks and me breaking my elbow when she was three-months-old, I might have simply been too busy to notice!
After Dorothy was born, I got downright depressed and was treated for post-partum depression for over a year. There was a good chance she would be my last baby, and I was simply not ready for that to be the case. Plus, I had other things in my life that were majorly stressing me out. I needed the medications I was on to get back to a more even footing.
When I found out I was expecting Jack, I knew he would be my last baby. Much as I love babies, I've never wanted to continue having them into my 40s. I made the decision early on to do all I could to be mentally in a good place by the end of the pregnancy.
Mind you, I'm not suggesting depression can be overcome entirely by a person's attitude. Sometimes attitude or intent have absolutely no impact. In my own experience, however, I've found that some things I do may help. If I stay healthy—eat right, get as close to enough sleep as I can, exercise—and if I face what's bothering me, I have a better chance of staying mentally healthy.
So, three-and-a-half weeks out, how am I doing? Mostly pretty well. I have my good days and my bad days, but more are good than are bad. If I'm overtired or dehydrated I'm more likely to have a bad day. Still, I have days I don't get teary at all, and when I do get teary it doesn't overwhelm me. I feel like I'm doing okay, especially given where I am in the hormonal shift back to not-pregnant.
So, what's still giving me trouble? How fast time is slipping by. Jack is already three-and-a-half weeks old. His looks are changing. He has baby acne. He's learning to smile. These are all good things, but somehow each time there's a notable development I feel both excited and sad—I'm always aware that I'll never go through this again with a child of my own.
I know being done is the right thing. It's right for me—given how I have been exponentially sicker with each pregnancy, I shudder to think how bad I might get in another. I have neither nostalgia for nor amnesia about being pregnant. And as I said, I've never really wanted to have kids in my 40s.
It's right for Chris—he was ready to stop after any of the previous kids, but is especially ready to be done now.
It's right for our kids, for our family—I know love multiplies, but I also know time doesn't. I like that with four kids, each child still has a parent's hand to hold. Our family feels right, feels complete to me now.
Still, there are days that I feel sad. As long as they stay relatively few, I won't worry. I'm too busy counting my blessings, even if I do sometimes shed a tear or two while doing so.
Labels:
Dorothy,
Jack,
Mairi,
Nora,
Pregnancy #3,
Pregnancy #4
29 October 2011
09 October 2011
39w 3d: Apple picking
It's the end of the first week of October, or technically the beginning of the second week. It's 82 degrees out. I'm ready to have baby #4 any time, whenever baby is ready to come. So, what's the logical thing to do?
Why, go apple picking of course!
We typically make a visit to Stover's with the Barr family mid-October, but given my due date and the unseasonably warm weather, we decided not to wait quite that long this year.
Enjoy the pictures!
Why, go apple picking of course!
We typically make a visit to Stover's with the Barr family mid-October, but given my due date and the unseasonably warm weather, we decided not to wait quite that long this year.
Enjoy the pictures!
23 February 2011
2+3+1=October
I'm pregnant.
Yes, we do know how this happens.
I'm due in the first half of October (the 12th, I think, if you're the sort who likes a date to fixate on).
We won't know if we're having a boy or a girl till some time early summer, but we probably will find out when the ultrasound is done.
We are not "trying for a boy" — we're hoping for healthy. All things being equal, we'd prefer a girl. We will, of course, love them regardless of sex or health.
I'm miserably sick, thanks for asking. As with the three previous pregnancies, I have "morning sickness" — that insane euphemism someone came up with for feeling nauseous round the clock and puking regularly if I'm not careful. I still maintain that if men had to experience this in order for the species to survive, we'd have cheap and effective treatments and/or the first trimester of pregnancy would be mandatory paid leave. </rant> I expect to feel better sometime around late April (if I'm lucky) or mid-May (if I'm not).
We've told the girls. Mairi is thrilled and touchingly solicitous of Mom's health. Nora seems happy but finds something new to worry about every few days. (She was already in this phase before being told about the impending sibling.) Dorothy is clueless.
If I missed your question please feel free to ask it and if I feel like it I'll answer in a later post...
Yes, we do know how this happens.
I'm due in the first half of October (the 12th, I think, if you're the sort who likes a date to fixate on).
We won't know if we're having a boy or a girl till some time early summer, but we probably will find out when the ultrasound is done.
We are not "trying for a boy" — we're hoping for healthy. All things being equal, we'd prefer a girl. We will, of course, love them regardless of sex or health.
I'm miserably sick, thanks for asking. As with the three previous pregnancies, I have "morning sickness" — that insane euphemism someone came up with for feeling nauseous round the clock and puking regularly if I'm not careful. I still maintain that if men had to experience this in order for the species to survive, we'd have cheap and effective treatments and/or the first trimester of pregnancy would be mandatory paid leave. </rant> I expect to feel better sometime around late April (if I'm lucky) or mid-May (if I'm not).
We've told the girls. Mairi is thrilled and touchingly solicitous of Mom's health. Nora seems happy but finds something new to worry about every few days. (She was already in this phase before being told about the impending sibling.) Dorothy is clueless.
If I missed your question please feel free to ask it and if I feel like it I'll answer in a later post...
25 June 2010
Early writings
Cloud lis day.
Back at home.
Right poems to pas
the time.
Chickadies quoraling [in]
the tree tops.
This is my home.
~ Mairi Weber-Hess
(24 June 2010)
Back at home.
Right poems to pas
the time.
Chickadies quoraling [in]
the tree tops.
This is my home.
~ Mairi Weber-Hess
(24 June 2010)
12 April 2009
01 July 2008
See how she grows
I know, it's been forever since I posted anything. Here are some pictures at least ...
All of the above are links to larger pix, and I think you can browse around my online albums once you're there.
Here's the bare bones of a family update:
Chris and I are adjusting well to being a family of five, for the most part. We survived a trip around Lake Michigan to visit family and friends over an extended Memorial Day weekend - enjoyed the visits, if not all the driving. Chris painted the downstairs bathroom, which leave just one more room to set to rights on the first floor. I'm doing okay for the most part with being back at work (part-time for a few more weeks).
Mairi lost her first tooth a couple weeks back. She's continuing to work on reading and writing, as well as adjusting to her bicycle's training wheels being further off the ground.
Nora is out of diapers (yay!) and mostly doing well with the change. She started at preschool this summer, three mornings a week, and is loving that.
Dorothy is growing and changing so much it's hard to know where to start. She tries to roll over and I swear one of these times she's going to do it from sheer will. She smiles, she laughs, she "talks" - generally charms the socks off anyone within a twenty foot radius. Chris recently had someone stop the elevator doors - almost closed, mind you - so she could admire Dorothy for a few minutes!
I'm missing tons of things, but I'm late for bed as it is. Some day I'll have time enough to write again - and I guarantee, I will be rather bummed about it. *sigh & grin*
All of the above are links to larger pix, and I think you can browse around my online albums once you're there.
Here's the bare bones of a family update:
Chris and I are adjusting well to being a family of five, for the most part. We survived a trip around Lake Michigan to visit family and friends over an extended Memorial Day weekend - enjoyed the visits, if not all the driving. Chris painted the downstairs bathroom, which leave just one more room to set to rights on the first floor. I'm doing okay for the most part with being back at work (part-time for a few more weeks).
Mairi lost her first tooth a couple weeks back. She's continuing to work on reading and writing, as well as adjusting to her bicycle's training wheels being further off the ground.
Nora is out of diapers (yay!) and mostly doing well with the change. She started at preschool this summer, three mornings a week, and is loving that.
Dorothy is growing and changing so much it's hard to know where to start. She tries to roll over and I swear one of these times she's going to do it from sheer will. She smiles, she laughs, she "talks" - generally charms the socks off anyone within a twenty foot radius. Chris recently had someone stop the elevator doors - almost closed, mind you - so she could admire Dorothy for a few minutes!
I'm missing tons of things, but I'm late for bed as it is. Some day I'll have time enough to write again - and I guarantee, I will be rather bummed about it. *sigh & grin*
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